|
| [home]
[amps] [acoustic
guitars] [electric guitars 2]
[ bass guitars ]
[ p.a.] [wind]
[misc] |
Musician JOKES page "BASS
Players"
[back]
[page 1] [page2]
[page 3] [page
4] [page 5] [page
6]
[page 7] [page
8] [page 9] [page
10] [page 11] [page 12] [page
13] [page
14] [page 15]
|
|
|
Bass Brain
A guitar player comes to the doctor and complains about a serious
deterioration of his memory. He especially has a hard time remembering
correct changes and is afraid to lose all his gigs. Since the doctor
can't find the cause, he asks the guitarist to leave behind his brain
for a week in his lab for more detailed examinations. After seven days
the guitar player fails to show up, and even after 2 more weeks there's
no sign of him. Finally the doctor runs into him on the street, grabs
him and asks: "Excuse me, but your brain is still waiting for you to
stop by and pick it up, so why don't you show up?" The guitarist says,
"Well, I think you can keep it; I finally switched to bass..."
|
|
|
|
Q: What's the difference between a double
bass and a coffin…..
A: A coffin has the corpse on the inside.
Q: Why do bands have bass players?
A: To translate for the drummer.
Q: What's the definition of a bass player?
A: Halfway between a drummer and a
musician.
Q: What's the difference between a Bassist
and a Rhino that's just eaten a tin of baked beans?
A: One's a huge useless thing that makes a
deep farting noise and the other is a Rhino.
Q: Did you hear about the time the bass
player locked his keys in the car?
A: It took two hours to get the drummer
out.
Q: How do you get a bass player's eyes to
sparkle….
A: Shine a light in his ear.
|
|
|
A man gives his
son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four
bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father
asks, "So, what did you learn?"
"Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string." Next week, after
the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son
replies, "This time I learned the first five notes on the A string." One
week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of
cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: "Hey, what happened in today's
lesson?" "Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!"
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| A tour manager
comes across the guitarist and bass player fighting at the side of the
stage and pulls them apart asking what the problem was. "That bastard
detuned one of the strings on my bass", says the bass player, "And we're
on stage in five minutes." "So what's the problem?", asks the tour
manager. "He won't tell me which string it was he detuned", said the
Bassist. |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|